Wulfrik the Wanderer

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We fought monsters, and we become them...

"Face me if you dare, stunted whelp, or do you lack even an Elven maid's courage? I thought the Sons of Grungni were great warriors, but perhaps you are no true Dwarf. Indeed, maybe you are instead some breed of bearded goblin, though in truth, I have seen a finer beard on a Troll's back-side."

– Wulfrik, burning the Dwarves so hard that it literally set his beard on fire.

"You favour birds, Zarnath? Since you like birds so much, traitor, I will make you one."

– Wulfrik, about to rape Zarnath with the torture death of Blood Raven

"We seek the monsters that you fear the most. We chase the nightmares that haunt your cowardly dreams. The deadlier the prey, the more we exult in the hunt! The more we honour our Gods! This harsh land breeds the savage; and we revel in it. The Old World calls, ripe for our taking. We fought monsters, and we became them"

– Wulfrik, during the trailer for the Norsca faction of Total War: WARHAMMER

Wulfrik the Wanderer, also known as the Eternal Challenger, the Inescapable One and the World Walker, is the ultimate sea-faring warrior as well as the Chaos Gods' most favorites and deadly executioner. He was cursed some time ago to forever kill scary beasts or champions of distant lands by the chaos gods for being too damn yappy after a long night of drinking with the lads. The curse stated that, should he fail or fall in battle, his soul would be damned forever to be viciously ravaged by Slaaneshi daemons, unable to enter the halls of Khorne.

In addition to being a warrior of immense skill,he is also a roast-master, able to burn the unholy 'FUCK' out of anyone in the Warhammer world. His curse grants him the ability to speak Khazalid, Eltharin, Queekish, Reikspiel, and even ancient Nehekharan with the fluency of a born native, making it that much easier for him to roast their sorry asses charcoal black and then challenge them to duels to the death.

He is not to be confused with a similar character who also has the same red hair, a massive sword and the ability to pull a long 1 minute insult from Samurai Jack.

It is also a shame that he did not duel Gotrek or feature in any of their novels,despite the fact that both kill monsters and champions on weekly basis.

The Gotrek of the Dark Gods[edit]

Wulfrik was born into the Norscan clan of Sarl, bearing the mark of chaos upon his young flesh from the moment he left the womb. He would grow to become a skilled, if somewhat arrogant, warrior. But after a particularly glorious victory(the prizes of which were the hand of a beautiful princess and the crown of chieftain), at a celebration held in honor of his clan's victory over a rival, known as the Aeslings, Wulfrik, in a drunken stupor,declared loud and for all to hear that he and he alone could best every warrior in the world, because he was the greatest and even the gods (big Fucking mistake bruh) couldn’t train a better warrior. Nurgle ran off to cry, Slaanesh whacked off (as usual) and Khorne flew into a rage (as usual). Tzeentch, on the other hand... hatched another plan.

Insulted beyond compare, the chaos gods sent an emissary to Wulfrik as he lay sleeping. The daemon then came to Wulfrik and carried him into the warp before proceeding to give him a tour of the world from the “heavens” above. They visited the realms of the elves, and the dark domains of the skaven. They went to the woodland realms of the wood elves and the strongholds of the dwarves, and the gleaming cities of the empire and everywhere they went would drown in a great tide of blood. The daemon then informed Wulfrik that the gods (in their infinite dickishness) had decided to call his arrogant ass with a divine mission, the terms of which state that he is to wander the world and claim the skulls of dreadful monsters and powerful champions. If he succeeds, he will be counted as an honored servant of the gods. If he fails(ergo,dies)...Well, Slaanesh gets to decide what happens then.

Wulfrik woke the next morning with “the gift of tongues,” a mutation that twisted his tongue into the shape of a bird(don’t think too hard on it)and made it so that he could speak foreign languages as if he’d been born to each. A side effect is that he may shout random insults at people at completely inopportune times(no doubt Tzeentch was pissing himself after he came up with that one)Another “gift” was that he could now hear the gods in his head, imploring him to go out and retrieve the skull of a tomb king and offer up his rotten entrails to Nurgle.The voices began driving wulfrik mad and so,between searching for a cure to his “gifts” and being a badass,he started searching for some way to get to Khemry.

Understanding that the hot climate in the Southlands was no joke (most Norscans just don’t like it because it’s hot...and because everyone’s favorite desert daddy fucking pwned them the last time they landed, see Settra's crown thief.) He learns from a friend that there is a certain powerful magical ship that can transport anyone anywhere in an instant(or close enough). While searching for the ship, Wulfrik discovered that it was held by the Skaeling witch Baga Yar in a mighty stronghold. Wulfrik uses pretty much all of his life savings buying an army to lay siege to this fucking thing, and after he finally manages to get inside, he hacks the witch to pieces out of sheer spite. The witch doesn’t die(TIS BUT A FLESH WOUND)so he drops her old ass in a pot to boil to death while he goes down to claim his new ride. With ship, sword,and blood hungry crew, Wulfrik sets out in his journey of slaughtering anything with red blood or a pulse.Seriously,Giants, abominations, undead beasts, famous champions and noble heroes. Fucking *no one* is safe.

Treachery[edit]

At some point during his adventure, Wulfrik meets Zarnath, a Kurgan shaman. He claimed that he knew a way to remove the gods *gifts*, but he would only do so if noble and oh so heroic wulfrik could do a quick RPG fetch quest and get a certain artefact called the "Smile of Sardiss" from the infamous chaos dwarves for him. Wulfrik did just that, killing a bull lord and battling the chaos stuntis' foul machinery (it was a chaos dwarf lord armed with power armor and flamethrower, but Wulfrik managed to burn him alive with his own weapon) like the fucking beast he is. He gets the artifact at the cost of his dear friend Sigvatr, one of the few people he actually cared about in this war torn world. Oh and Zarnath died there as well (more on that later on). The death of the shaman meant he could no longer freed from curse and it upsets Wulfrik.

In the mean time however,the Sarl's king, Viglundr,a devout follower and chosen of Tzeentch, was forging a new alliance with his tribes old enemies,the Aeslings (the same tribe Wulfrik pwned the night he received his “gifts”)However, things aren’t really going that well since Wulfrik is the one that killed the Aesling king and the relationship between the clans is a bit tattered even with their new chieftain, Viglundr’s own son Sveinbjorn,and it will remain that way so long as Wulfrik lives. Viglundr decides then that the red haired badass must take a snowy dirt nap if his dreams of power and prestige are to have any chance of coming true.

As soon as Wulfrik and Co. returned, Wulfrik was welcomed with the news of his lovely princess's marriage with prince Sveinbjorn which angers Wulfrik to no end and led him to challenged Sveinbjorn to a duel. Going along with the flow, Sveinbjorn was ordered by his father to put Wulfrik’s little victory streak to an end and led Wulfrik into a forest arena where they would do glorious battle in the name of the gods. However, to Wulfrik's surprise, the combatant wasn't Sveinbjorn, but rather a huge (about as tall as a troll), bloated chaos champion that Sveinbjorn’s daddy had hired. Note that the champion was a famous Aeslings hero known throughout the Norsca. Thanks to his own huge balls of titanium, Wulfrik beat the champion to sludge in a battle (even with the champion's transformation midway into the battle, Wulfrik fought savagery and pound the abomination down below the spike-filled arena pit), thus earning the respect of several hundred warriors and increasing the size of his horde significantly.

Having had their plan fail like a typical Saturday morning Cartoon Villian, Viglundr decided to have Sveinbjorn bribe one of Wulfrik's men, Broendulf, into betraying him. Oh and Zarnath turns out alive (more on that later) this time around and told Wulfrik and his gang to go to Ulthuan (also known as Alfheim in Norscan, nice Norse myth reference there Gee-dubs) in order to obtain the cure for Wulfrik's curse gift by having the magic of that place absorbed into the artefact he got before. Turns out, Zarnath is a treacherous asshole who had been plotting wulfriks demise from the beginning (and the quest to obtain chaos dwarves' artefact is but a excuse to get Wulfrik killed). The sorcerer fooled Wulfrik and his merry band of savages into killing a group of elven maidens praying at a shrine, telling them that they were vile witches preparing to unleash havoc on the norscans with foul elven magic. Turns out, they were the wives of elven nobles, praying for fertility and healthy babies if they were already pregnant (oh boy Khorne's gonna be pissed, slaughter of the weak?...tiny skulls do make good necklaces tho, but Khaine? he should be the one killing these elf fetuses!)

Zarnath then revealed his true nature, presumably twirling a cartoonish mustache, before disappearing into a cloud of smoke, alerting nearly every warrior on the bloody continent of Ulthuan in the doing of it. The Elves and Wulfrik's gang then had a massive battle that caused Khorne to violently ejaculate molten brass all over the place (Slaanesh was indeed pleased, before you ask). The battle ended up destroying the Seafang, Wulfriks kickass magic Viking boat, leaving only the figurehead which was,conveniently,the only part that mattered as it held all the magic in it. Wulfrik and Broendulf (who were the only survivors) escaped using just Seafang's figurehead, strapped to the front of an elven galley. While trespassing the warp in a similar fashion related to 40k, Broendulf confessed to Wulfrik about Viglundr's plotting against him as well as his part of the plan. Hilariously, the reason for Broendulf's betrayal is so he could have the princess himself since Sveinbjorn himself claimed to have erectile dysfunction and he was not interested in the princess a bit. The statement was later rebuked by Wulfrik by saying that the sons of their nearby tribe's chieftian were all actually Sveinbjorn's bastard sons. Yet, Broendulf was unable to turn upon one who saved his life so many times during the battle. Despite his part in the treachery, Wulfrik partnered up with Broendulf, with Broendulf vowing to remain by Wulfrik's side until their enemies had been dealt with.

Vengeance[edit]

The gang later found themselves in Reikland, near the Empire city of Wisborg, and discovered while there that Zarnath was no shaman, but a wizard of the colleges of magic (and most probably a heretic) named Ludwig Stossel of the Celestial Order and the occasional fake deaths early on was but his magic trick. Planning to exact his vengeance on this traitorous imperial dog, Wulfrik traveled back to Norsca and his clan to muster himself up a massive army. To do that, he went for the higher-ups (also known as Viglundr and Sveinbjorn). He bitchslapped the ever loving shit out Sveinbjorn for trying to have someone kill him rather the trying to do it himself, before continuing to bitchslap him Deadpool style (HE LOVES ME HE LOVES ME NOT) until Viglundr showed up to stop him. Not wanting the Aesling to attack due to the death of their puppet lord, Viglundr beseeches Wulfrik to spare Sveinbjorn’s cowardly ass, offering him the support he required to muster enough troops to siege the city, but only if Wulfrik abandoned any lord status in the clan and vowed never to try at claiming the crown again. Wulfrik did just that, abandoning his desire for power and embracing his new role as the Gods Executioner. He then repaired the Seafang with wood from an ancient troll tree rooted in the Norscan tundra (most likely a chaotic brother to the oak of ages) and prepared his troops to attack the Empire city. Turn out the real reason why Zarnath tried to kill Wulfrik was because he had foresaw his death at Wulfrik’s hands. He tried to prevent it by killing Wulfrik early on but failed. Regardless, due to his terminal lack of Steel Fucking Balls. In addition, Wulfrik killed a powerful warrior priest, the baron of Wisborg, the baron's wife, and then ordered the entire city stripped of its valuables... Norscan style (translation:they looted and pillaged the FUCK out of it and maybe raised a few idols of their dark gods and all). Wulfrik even blackmailed Sveinbjorn by having his armies long ship flying Sveinbjorn's flag, damning his honor for eternity. Also, Zarnath, being the treacherous old crow he is, is subjugated to one of the most torturous deaths imaginable... the Blood Raven.

The "Blood Ravens" does not refer to the thieving space marine chapter, but a popular Khornate sacrifice ritual (as well as a reference to the similar named real life viking sacrificial ritual) done only by the Norsii. The performer must cut open and dig out their victim's lungs while they are still alive, then place both lungs over their shoulders to give the appearance of blood soaked wings, hence the name “blood raven”

After that, Wulfrik returned to Norsca. He killed Sveinbjorn along the way, shoving a handful of venomous snakes down the traitorous bastards throat before lopping off his head and bringing it back to Viglundr. Their Chief dead and the hope of peace destroyed, Viglundr could only sit there in his throne and weep softly as Wulfrik turned and left the hall of the Sarls, knowing as he did that, though Wulfrik never raised his sword, he had killed the entire tribe. Thus, with his tribe gone, his enemies slain and his unfaithful lover screaming in the hands of the gods, Wulfrik set out on his quest once more, embracing his destiny as the Wanderer.

The Eternal Executioner of the Dark Gods[edit]

Wulfrik realized that his curse was more of a blessing then he gave it credit for, a true gift from the gods. Without the power of the Seafang, he could not have appeased the gods by collecting the skulls and hearts of their enemies. Without his fame as the Worldwalker, he could not have gained the loyalty of his men, and Without the lies of Zarnath, Viglundr, and Sveinbjorn, the pieces would never have come together. The Gods had ultimately helped him exact vengeance and gain glory, if in a really dickish and convoluted way. Wulfrik then offer Slaanesh a string of gold hair from his former lover, symbolized the end of his old life. With his faith restored and his forces replenished, he would serve them for all eternity as their huntsman.

The End times[edit]

According to Josh Reynolds, Wulfrik was first seen with his flying ship in Ind. The gods probably tell him to offer the skulls of the thousand gods, fitting for an executioner like him. Other champions like Galrauch, Arbaal and Dechala were there as well.

After that, his super convenient ship carry him back to the siege of Middenland where Archaon's army resides. He got bored waiting for Valten so he decided to duel Valnir to pass the time (What a great guy). When Valten got there, Wulfrik was still dueling and Sigvald was bitching at Valten on how he deserved to fight the real Sigmar (what a prick). As soon as Sigvald finished and left, Wulfrik just happened to finish off Valnir, and went straight for Valten. It is said that Wulfrik put up the strongest fight out of anyone against Valten (aside from Archaon) but he still got a decent helping of sacred warhammer straight to the face. Wulfrik then said: "Good Fight!" before his soul was torn from his body to be tortured by the demons of the warp forever for failing in his task. The dark gods might resurrect him in the Age of Sigmar, but one can only guess,and hope that one day, the wanderer will find his way back.

On the tabletop[edit]

Wulfric is an incredibly powerful unit in the tabletop. He has 8 weapon skill, 5 strength, 4 toughness, and 2 wounds. This is nothing too incredible (besides his overwhelming strength) and since he is a bit flimsy he could potentially get taken out by a stray arrow or two. However, the thing that really makes him terrifying is his Gift of Tongues special ability. This ability allows him to challenge any unit in the opponent's army to battle, and guess what? Your opponent can't say no. See a flimsy general? Dead. Irritating caster? Dead. Keystone model, like a Packmaster? Dead. Paint job so horrible you can't help but rage at it? Ziggity Zed, they're FUCKING DEAD.

gallery[edit]

The Champions and Lords of the Warriors of Chaos
From Warhammer Fantasy Battle
Aekold Helbrass - Arbaal the Undefeated - Archaon - Beorg Bearstruck - Bödvarr Ribspreader
Egrimm van Horstmann - Festus the Leechlord - Feytor - The Glottkin - Gutrot Spume
Haargroth - Harald Hammerstorm - Kayzk the Befouled - Krell - Maggoth Lords - Melekh
Sayl the Faithless - Scyla Anfingrimm - Sigvald the Magnificent - Skarr Bloodwrath - Slambo
Styrkaar of the Sortsvinaer - Tamurkhan - Thorgar the Blooded One - Throgg - Valkia the Bloody
Valnir - Vardek Crom - Vandred - Vilitch the Curseling - Wulfrik the Wanderer
From Age of Sigmar
Garrek Gorebeard - Korghos Khul - Magore Redhand
Marakarr Blood-Sky - Vorgaroth the Scarred - Vortemis the All-Seeing